In case you've been spending the last few years with your head encased in concrete, the core point of Pokemon Diamond and Pearl -- two symbiotic versions of the same game, sold separately -- is to capture different types of creatures called Pokemon as you travel from town to town, then tame them and train them in battle so you can challenge different town Gym Leaders for badges. In the process, your captured pet Pokemon gain experience points that increase their stats and enable them to learn new moves.

Further, most Pokemon will undergo evolutions somewhere along the line which result in altered appearances to match their growing strengths. Gym badges not only represent your skill as a true Pokemon trainer, but allow certain Pokemon to learn essential techniques in order to progress through the game.

Ultimately, you're pitted against Team Galactica and their devious plans for world domination. And there's your childhood rival who wants to be the best Pokemon trainer, too (even more than you, so he says, the insufferable tool).

Diamond/Pearl is the true sequel to the Game Boy Advance (GBA) versions of Pokemon and is not to be confused with the plethora of Pokemon spin-offs for the DS that have been released thus far -- Pokemon Ranger, Trozei, Dash, etc.

Naturally, there are differences between Diamond and Pearl revolving around a handful of Pokemon that are exclusive to each version (else, there'd be no point in buying both like a good little consumer/Pokenut). Together, Diamond and Pearl boasts some 150 brand new pokedudes to capture, but the game also rewards players who have stayed loyal to the franchise and played each and every game from its beginning by incorporating other-game captures, too. That is to say, it is a nearly impossible to acquire all 493 pokemon without owning the previous installments of the series, so you'll have to make friends with your neighborhood Pokefreaks and beg for, trade for, steal or buy your favorite classics.

Like any Pokemon game, "gotta catch 'em all" is your mandate, often likened to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Luckily, this time around, you need only see a pokemon in order to put catch it. The Pokedex -- your portable Pokeman database/encyclopedia -- now sports touch menus and offers much more information about each pokemon in your possession, though this extensive information is mostly only useful in the many different mini-games offered in this latest game.

In addition to the overhauled Pokedex, players are introduced to the multi-functional Pokewatch, which is akin to a do-it-all, solar-powered lint brush one might see in an infomercial in that it allows you to keep track of time (important, since the world is run in real-time), locate hidden treasure, check on pokemon being held in the nursery and get lint off your sweater. Kidding about the lint. As you progress through the game, you're given still more new Pokewatch applications to utilize.

Pokemon in your possession are now much more customizable, too. In addition to giving them a nickname, you can feed them special treats called "poffins" in order to raise stats such as cuteness, coolness, and beauty. And, when that Pikachu has maxed out its cuteness attribute, one might just want to enter it in the talent show and see what prize can be won. Or you can trade it, but after spending so much time grooming it, you may not want to for sentimental reasons. However, traded pokemon receive nearly twice as much experience in battle than those who have not been traded, so there's good incentive to cut the apron strings.

Unfortunately, even with a plethora of new functions and modes, battles remain horribly competitive and rely on the antiquated RPG turn-based formula. There are random battles, too, and those occur much too frequently. The basic strategy to any battle is to outmatch or at least keep an eye on the opponent's weakness, exploit it with an otherwise under-matched specialist, or both. Either way, it gets repetitive. Then again, if you want a cheap thrill of victory, take on a rookie friend via WiFi and win their pokemon.

Sporting crisp visuals and a real-time environment, Pokemon Diamond/Pearl is certainly the best installment of the game to date. It is the definitive experience for those still virgin to the series, otherwise known as the kindergartners who have just learned to read. But even for veterans of the series, hard-core or not, playing this version is an experience not to be missed.

That said, be prepared to wave farewell to at least 40 hours of your life in order to satiate the obsession of hunting down each and every pokemon in the land. You freak.